if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
