C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
