I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
