I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
