there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize