Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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