I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
