I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
