your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Come share oat with me in your robe
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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