I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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