Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
