none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
