He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize