her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
