Nicole vs. Life
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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