Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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