Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize