I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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