Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
