we're chasing vodka with high fives
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma