Tell her she can't have a vagina
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
