Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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