It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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