I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
they need to just BURY HIM!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize