My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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