Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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