I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
