Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That accounts for only three of the penises
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That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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