Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
