She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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