Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..