Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
