remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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