Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize