Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
