yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
