I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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