she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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