I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
