I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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