I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just found puke in my bra..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
