I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
