I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
