i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
