We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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