My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
