ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
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Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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