Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
