Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
