Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
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