his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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