eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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