would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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