Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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