...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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