i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
