i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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